BBC Headline:

So if the maternity units are closed to mothers, who are they open to? Can’t see that there would be much demand from any other audience!

Exploiting St Patrick’s Day for nefarious nutritional purposes:

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(click on images to see complete comics)

Just watch out for green skittles - buying or selling them could get you kicked out of school in New Haven, Connecticut! (and subsequently reinstated, but that probably won’t make quite as many newspapers…)