After more than 20 years with my basic Singer model (a college graduation present, IIRC), I recently bought a new sewing machine. I have a project in mind (heck, it’s in process even, all pinned up and waiting to be sewn) so I decided to browse through the manual.

I was stopped in my tracks by this item on page 1:

16. This sewing machine is not intended for use by young children or infirm persons without supervision. (For Australia and New Zealand only)

What does that mean, really? Does that mean that in Australia and New Zealand, children and infirm persons can use it WITH supervision, but in the rest of the world, they must be UNsupervised? Does supervision just apply to the infirm people, or to children as well? And does infirm have a specific legal definition in A & NZ? Because in the dictionary I just checked, it means

1. feeble or weak in body or health, esp. because of age; ailing.
2. unsteadfast, faltering, or irresolute, as persons or the mind; vacillating: infirm of purpose.

What do they expect weak and feeble people to do down under, stitch everything by hand? Wouldn’t a sewing machine be HELPFUL to someone weak? I mean, it’s not like they have to hold the machine up themselves! Or are they just worried about those irresolute people: can’t have indecisive folks sitting in front of a sewing machine, they might end up with crooked hems, or change threads in the middle of a seam…

And item 17 just adds to the confusion:

17. Young children should be supervised to ensure that they do not play with this machine.

But what about young children in Australia and New Zealand?

Oh Brother, where art thou? (At my side, if their logo can be believed!) Maybe I should just go back to my Singer.

I was watching movie trailers with T-boy this morning, including trailer #1 for the latest Indiana Jones. A flash of “Roswell, New Mexico 1947″ caught my eye, so I rewound the movie and grabbed this screen shot. What is the evil (?) Russian (??) woman doing looking at this box with Roswell on it? Are they in Hangar 18 at Wright Patterson Air Force Base (Dayton, Ohio), where all the UFOs are allegedly stored? I haven’t seen the movie (and probably won’t) so I have no idea how this fits into the plot, or if it’s just a fleeting reference that doesn’t fit in at all. Help me out here - anybody?

And just to show how out of touch I am, I heard this story (’The Mystery behind the Crystal Skulls’) from NPR back in May. It was a “story of the day” podcast. Interesting that archaeology would be story of the day, I thought at the time. It was days later before I made the connection that the “crystal skulls” were a plot element in a summer blockbuster movie! (Even though it’s mentioned at the beginning of the story, duh. Maybe a bus was driving by when they said that. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!). I think I was reading a Lego comic to T-boy when I had my aha moment!

I’m pretty sure this is an example of situational irony - and even if it isn’t, it’s certainly perversely appropriate!

(Click through to read the entire story at the BBC web site.)

BBC Headline:

So if the maternity units are closed to mothers, who are they open to? Can’t see that there would be much demand from any other audience!

Exploiting St Patrick’s Day for nefarious nutritional purposes:

◊ ◊ ◊

(click on images to see complete comics)

Just watch out for green skittles - buying or selling them could get you kicked out of school in New Haven, Connecticut! (and subsequently reinstated, but that probably won’t make quite as many newspapers…)

What do you think, is this a responsible use of chocolate, or irresponsible? They extracted cocoa butter from “waste” chocolate, specifically “4,000 kg (8,818 lb) of chocolate misshapes, the equivalent of 80,000 chocolate bars.” I guess I’m surprised the company doesn’t just melt it down and try again, but then again, I don’t know how industrial chocolate is made! (Apparently it’s nothing like cider syrup…)

And hmm, if it’s misshapes, then I guess it’s not great chocolate, so perhaps Larry Boy’s rejoinder to great responsibility is null and void in such a context!

I had no idea we were due to crash into an asteroid next week! Luckily, it was all a big mistake - someone lost track of a spacecraft… The rest of the story is at the BBC web site. Is anybody else channeling Larry Boy videos at this point? Jimmy and Jerry Gourd, UFO tracking center? Anyone??

The state of New Mexico was the first to adopt an official state cookie (the bizcochito - come to my house around Christmas and you can try some!) Now it looks like Michigan State University (aka the “Spartans”) is trying to get in on the action. Behold, I present you the recipe for their official cookie:

Okay, not really. Spartan is the store brand at my primary grocery store, and this is from the back of a bag of Spartan brand chocolate chips. But you have to admit, it’s pretty darn goofy!

Remember all that “Millenium” 2000 merchandise that sat, unsold, on store shelves, even once it went on deep discount? Turns out it found a new life. Ethiopia never adopted the Gregorian calendar, so they celebrated the “new millenium” today. Look at this picture (picture 4 in this gallery) if you don’t believe me.

But come on people, you’d think you could have learned from our mistakes and endless nattering on the topic: the new millenium doesn’t start until 2001! Sure, “2000″ makes for better goofy sunglasses than “2001,” so celebrate all you want, but don’t call it the new millenium for another year.

(okay, I admit it: I bought some of that merchandise on deep discount, seeing as how I was pregnant at the time and thought it would make a good souvenir for baby-to-be…)

One more thing: did they just recently have Y2K computer problems to deal with?? That just brings up too many mind-twisting questions when I start to think about data management issues (maybe all computer programs have a “map date to the rest of the world” field??)

Here’s a recent headline from BBC News site, with the startling summary that “the more hours you work, the less sleep you get.”

Wow. Who knew? Commuting time ranked second, above socializing. And here I thought reading news online was the activity cutting deepest into my sleep time…

The article ends with this statement:

“In the meantime, The Sleep Council will continue to spread the word and advise people how to improve their sleep quality, if not quantity, through simple lifestyle and environmental changes.”

That’s right folks, change your lifestyle and STOP WORKING so much! You need to sleep! And if you just can’t cut back at work, try sleeping while you commute (mass transit, I’m talking mass transit here, not solo car commuters!).